first

the latest song to hit my heart is FIRST, by brian doerksen. here's the chorus:

so we love to give because You gave so much

we live to love because You first loved us

i love those truths. i'm so thankful that God has shown me His kind of love - unconditional acceptance, embracing desire, unlimited encouragement, and yes, even pointed correction. and His kind of love loves first, unbelievable since i'm so unworthy of His attention. and His standard gives me an example to live, love and give away in my own life. no, not always easy, but it's what i'm called to... to me and then through me.  maybe the idea of cupid carrying an arrow isn't just romance.  love is meant to hit the heart.  and God is the grand initiator. i think it's really the Holy Spirit who carries a quiver full of arrows.  

the thought of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross really proves it all.  the Bible says, while we were yet sinners, He showed His kind of love...  now that's a FIRST.  and probably ONLY... yes, i'm thankful. and speechless...

a new communion

a few weeks ago, we went to a brian doerksen concert as part of his level ground tour. he decided to do this tour a little different, keeping the musicians off the stage, and using the center under the spotlights for stories of grace. we heard two local stories that night, but on his level ground DVD, there's another nine. what is it that stirs within, when people testify how Jesus has brought change in their lives?

questions:  why would anyone hold dear a powerless religion? what comfort is there living within rules someone else enforces? what's the purpose of a private faith? who are we helping when we keep grace in a box?  but then... what is it about Jesus'  love that has the power to do radical things?

perhaps these words, found on the wall in a concentration camp in germany may give evidence to a comfort found deep within the human heart, put there only by a God whose love and power are real. beyond belief:

 i believe in the sun even if isn't shining.

i believe in love even when i am alone.

i believe in God even when He is silent.

caught in the overflow. carried in the overflow. stories of grace are written in the overflow. stories of grace bring comfort, power, love, change, hope, life to the tellers and the hearers. and that's a communion like no other. faith-builder stories. it's like sharing glory.  

devotion

so at work this morning, a hillsong song rang anew in my heart.  lyrics that spoke my thoughts, as though i wrote them myself...

i search for You God of strength, i bow to You in my brokenness
and no other King could have so humbly come
to save my soul and heal my heart
i have nothing more than all You offer me, 

there is nothing else that’s of worth to me
and i love You Lord, You rescued me
You are all that i want, You’re all that i need
i pray to You God of peace, i rest in You my cares released...

in Your freedom I will live, in Your freedom I will live

i offer devotion, i offer devotion...

devotion.  what is it?  a noun or a verb?  a thing or a lifestyle? 

what does it feel like to me?  what does it look like to others?

and what does it do to God?  i'll bet my life it pleases Him.

maybe that's it...

 

enjoflectful

it's been a wonderful day.  basking in the enjoyment and reflection of our 30th wedding anniversary celebration yesterday, and being surrounded by so many people that God has given us to journey this road of life with.  basking in the enjoyment and reflection of leading worship this morning at a gathering of believers, alongside both those God has brought into my life to "band" with (except for rob who was ill) and 3 of "our" children who love Him and worship Him with their lives too.  and basking in the enjoyment and reflection of both witnessing a little child being dedicated to God by his parents and communing with bread and cup during the Lord's Supper this morning.  feeling "the current" has held me in it's sway for the last several months!  is there such a word as "enjoflectful?"  well there should be.  because it describes totally what's going on in my spirit... enjoying.  reflecting.  thankful. 

working on holiday? nope, i don't call this work.

today was a farm work day for us, despite most of the country enjoying a holiday.  but i don't mind.  for i often get to spend the day with my kids, doing something i enjoy, and between some conversation, just worship the day away together.  today it was hillsong united on the ipod, and songs like "God be the solution" and "all day" with their rhythms dictated the beat of grading peppers.  during other songs like "soon and very soon," and the infamous 12-minute "Saviour King," it was all i could do to keep my hands moving peppers from crate to box, instead of lifting them up...  i have often told my kids when thinking about their choice of vocation to find out what they love to do, and then get paid for it!  well, today i'm realizing my own advice is exactly what i'm following ~ i get to worship all day long and "get paid" to do it!  but just a warning.  if you happen to stop by the packbarn some day, more than likely, you'll "catch us in the overflow..."  :)

full on and in flow

the last several weeks have been a series of the most continuous demands of time, tests of faith, strains of perseverance, importance of details, stubborn obstacles and relentless prayers.  last weekend was a series of blessing, adventure, joy, worship, service, appreciation, pampering, good food, romance, and God's provision.  through all of it, i've known God's hand on my heart, His protection at my back, His forgiveness in my stumbling, His lead in my seeking, His strength in my exhaustion and His 'crazy' love catching me in His overflow - His surrounding, relentless, right-where-i-need-to-know-it care!  so i'm at rest and still, in this moment, feeling the waters of His grace over me, the swirl of His peace around me, and i'm marvelling and thankful for His strength in what has been.  sigh...

what happened you ask?  a snake in our basement, tractortrailer stuck in our lawn, awful windstorm that flattened trees, broke greenhouse glass, left us with no water and no power for 4 days, car trouble, carpenter ant fumigation in the house, little sleep, intense planning for a town-wide multi-church love-o-community day followed by a local friday-evening concert by a favourite christian band, an amazing wbis saturday, and a 30th wedding anniversary tailored-by-our-kids celebration adventure sunday that spoiled us beyond our imagination...

just feeling so humbly blessed by trusting God in the yuck stuff, totally emptying myself for Him in serving with-hands-and-feet worship, and then having His hand restore, refresh, renew right after... who said this deep and constant closeness and nearness to God (calling it a spiritual high really isn't fair) can't be the everyday...

Jesus, You are all to us...

let the glory of Your name be the passion of the church

let the righteousness of God be the holy flame that burns

let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives

we believe You're all to us...

sigh again...

this is Jesus in His glory

so it's easter weekend.  yesterday i spent most of the day in and out of an amazing lent devotional "making the passion personal."  here's a few thoughts:
* come now my soul, and worship this man, this God.  come believer, and behold your Saviour.  come to the innermost circle of all sanctity , the circle that contains the cross of Christ.  and here sit down.
* what can He say?  what words can change the evil in the hearts of men who glory in His humiliation?  what can He do?  come down from the cross and command them to bow and give Him His rightful place?  how well He understands that if He did, the price for sin would remain on their heads, a price none of them can ever hope to pay.
* like a roar, the scorn at Golgotha reaches the portals of heaven.  myriads of angels mourn, each one yearning to jerk the stakes from Jesus' hands and feet.  but the love of God is a mystery into which angels can only long to look.  the Saviour of the world will not save Himself and let mankind be damned to the hopelessness of hell.
* and the Light of the Word is extinguished for a few hours on a hill called Calvary.  men, who love darkness rather than light, demand a sign.  God gives them a sky that matches the blackness of their own hearts.
* Father God, how rarely have i thought of Your pain, in watching Your Son die as He did.  But You were there.  You watched, and You wept, and You did nothing.  i rest in my unworthiness of such love, and ponder Your mercy, flowing down, for one such as me.

see His love

see His love nailed onto a cross
perfect and blameless life given as sacrifice
see Him there all in the name of love
broken yet glorious, all for the sake of us
this is Jesus in His glory, King of Heaven dying for me
it is finished, He has done it, death is beaten, heaven beckons me
greater love no one could ever show
mercy so undeserved, freedom I should not know
all my sin, all of my hidden shamed

died with Him on the cross, eternity won for us
such love, such love, such love is this for me...

so here i sit, even still, in the circle of sanctity, unbelievable love.
the cross of Jesus above me.  and i'm caught in the overflow yet again...

clothed with power

i'm part of a prayer group that meets once a month, praying for churches to embrace unity, compassion and service in our town.  the faithful few i gather with really touch me.  their dedication and commitment to pray and to receive answers to those prayers is beautiful and contagious.  there's a power in prayer that is unlike anything else.  i think it has to do with being with other pray-ers, and with surrendering ourselves together and our concerns to the Hearer.  but mostly, i think it's because i long to see His response, feel His presence, hear His word, know His heart...

on saturday morning at our prayer time, we read from acts 2.  i wonder what it must have been like to have waited for what was promised there in the upper room...  when that overflow fell with such power, those gathered surely saw His response, certainly felt His presence, definitely heard His word, and truly knew His heart.  maybe we need to gather more together and wait on Him more often.  just like He said to...

thanks for letting me share.
and wonder with me, if you will...

trade

so it's been a little bit since i've posted.  it's been busy for sure.  today i have a chance to breathe amid this full life to ponder.  and the word that's hitting me today is TRADE.  whether it's a hockey card collection, sisters sharing clothes, a swap shop or a Christmas cookie exchange, bartering is a part of our lives.

Jesus was born, lived, loved, prayed, preached, blessed, healed, died, rose, ate, ascended and reigns as King over the Kingdom i'm so amazed to be part of.  through all of that, a trade occurred, and in any given moment, it's my choice to receive that trade or not.  

i'm trading my sorrows, i'm trading my pain,
i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

i'm trading my sickness, i'm trading my pain,
i'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord

we say yes Lord....................yes Lord, amen!!

i'm pressed by not crushed, persecuted not abandoned,
struck down but not destroyed

i'm blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure,
and His joy's gonna be my strength

though the sorrow may last for the night,
His joy comes in the morning...

(by darrell evans)

i'm trading my hurts for His love, my sins for His grace, my ideas for His teachings, my busyness for His rest, my self-focussed-ness for an-awareness-of-others, my time for His timing, etc.  actually experiencing joy in these areas makes the trade even more desirable...  

matthew 6:33 says

"seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you."

or in the message:

"steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions,

and you'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

i'm thankful that for every night, there is the promise of a morning... the JOY of a new dawning... His trade makes it possible for me to trade the "grrr" in my day.  God is always there, at my side, saying, "trade ya?"  may His Kingdom come and will be done on earth, as it is done in heaven... 

thanks for letting me share.

hence and thus

read a quote this morning by andre gide...

“art is a collaboration

between God and the artist,

and the less the artist does the better.”

think that's what being caught in the overflow says to me.  when i'm who i am in Christ, then the me He says i am IS the overflow ~ it's Him in me...  Him through me.  with Him as my foundation, the dream to be artistic and creative is expression.  and there's no greater delight.  hence the prayer, o Lord, let others see YOU in my gifts.  and thus, every moment is a way to offer worship...

cheerful chorefulness

today is saturday, and normally a cleaning house-buying grocery-laundering clothes kind of day.  i look around the place where i live, seeing all the "stuff" that is mine, and am thankful.  i think gratefulness is such a huge part of living "caught in the overflow."  for me, i realize just how much i have been given and want to be in a perpetual state of appreciation, not in an autopilot taking-for-granted or an i've-worked-for-this-it's-owed-to-me attitude.  so as i clean our home, provide for my family and suck dust bunnies, wipe toothpaste off the mirror, empty garbage, do dishes and put things away for the umpteenmillionth time, i breathe a prayer of joy to my Provider and feel contented rest at the end of this day.  and tomorrow is another day ... of thankfulness for the past week, of worship in the present moment, and surrender for the coming week.  God indeed is so good!

it is well

these days, there is much talk and speculation about japan and the events there.  in my own heart, i waver between the overwhelming compassion for the people there and the deep humility i'm feeling living here in peace and contentment.  the contrast is striking.  yet there is this gnawing ache in my stomach and in my mind about security.  our security is indeed in God, not in our circumstances.  Jesus spoke of that often.  the connection between the spiritual and physical is real.  it's only in being "caught in the overflow" that the peace that passes understanding can be had.  the best picture of that in the Bible is Jesus in the garden the night before His supreme sacrifice.  perhaps that's where i can go in these days of "unrest," sitting at his side rather than asleep, and entering in to the knowing that what's happening in our world today, whether it's natural disaster or political unrest and injustice, Jesus knows, experienced, understands and carries us.  blessed are those who make the Lord their trust...

when peace like a river attendeth my way, 

when sorrows like sea billows roll

whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

it is well, it is well with my soul.

thanks for letting me share 

and sit with me there, if you will.

eyes to see and mouths to sing

"how great is our God, sing with me..."

this morning, i'm reflecting on yesterday morning.  during the church service that we were at, someone shared a miracle God had done in him, and then also through him.  God-incidences.  there's nothing more that thrills the soul than being in/sharing our/hearing others' God moments.  miracles of grace on this path to eternity.  i'm marvelling!  the God of the universe really does step into time and space, revealing Himself, for us to see if we have eyes to see ~ Jesus spoke of that often in His teaching.  and how marvellous when we can take joy together in "the things He has done."  i hope i never "get used" to them, or heaven forbid, am skeptical or critical of someone's sharing...  in fact, my heart hungers to see God in action ~ around me, through me, and in me.  our God is indeed great!  so let's open our eyes, and let our mouths overflow, because we as believers have so much to sing about.

thanks for letting me share,
and sing with me, if you will.  :)

prayer for japan

sitting here thinking about japan.  watching the videos of the waves thrusting ruin around like a rag doll, leaves me feeling numb.  i simply can't imagine the devastation, the helplessness, the fear they are going through.  and so i'm praying.  but i don't even know what to pray... i'm thankful the Holy Spirit hears our groans and sighs.  the words "caught in the overflow" are going through my mind like a moving billboard.  i believe trusting in God's overflow is the only thing that can carry us and all people everywhere, no matter what happens in our days.  His overflow is life, purpose, hope, power and passing-understanding peace.  thinking that's what i'll pray for japan today, and tomorrow, and beyond.

come, pray with me.

you thirsty?

it's pouring outside as i write, the precip trying to decide whether it wants to be snow or rain.  i think the rain is winning, and i'm watching an eavestrough overflow, like a mini waterfalls.  there's something mesmerizing about falling water.  perhaps it's the power of nature.  perhaps it's the sound of gentleness.  perhaps it's the cleansing property.  perhaps it's simply our basic inner need for water.

"as the deer pants for water, so my soul longs after You, O Lord." (ps.42:1)

a couple of years ago, we visited fraser island off the coast of australia.  it's the world's largest sand island, about 22 km at it's width and 123 km in it's length.  tall rainforests grow there on sand dunes at elevations over 200m.  about 45 minutes into our 4wheel drive bus tour, (what an adventure that was!) we came upon an isaiah 35 crystal-clear view:

"...water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert, 

the burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs...

...the redeemed will walk there, and those the LORD has rescued will return,
they will enter Zion with singing, and everlasting joy will crown their heads..."

all this talk of flow and streams and rivers reminds me of a song by darrell evans:

"let the poor man say ~ i am rich in Him,
 let the lost man say ~ i am found in Him

let the blind man say ~ i can see again,
let the dead man say ~ i am born again

let the river flow, let the river flow,
Holy Spirit come, move in power, let the river flow."

so next time you're drinking water, or showering, or hot-tubbing, or even enjoying one of those automated car washes, think of how amazing that clear liquid really is.  what a valuable resource it is!  physically and spiritually.  and thank the one who said, "I am the living water."  He promised we'd never thirst again.

thanks for letting me "go with the flow."  :)

singing and sighing

one of the things i'm learning, being caught in the overflow, is contentment.  (phil 4:11)  it's living in the moment and looking for God at the same time.  it's entrusting myself to Him and trusting my circumstances are in His hand, at the same time.  it's letting go of anxiety and holding onto peace.  it's a resting place, for sure, but it's also a place of excitement and adventure.  it's Jesus in the driver's seat and me with one hand on His lap and one grabbing the handle.  :)  it's learning to be alive, not just passing time.  it's being on purpose, not resigning myself to fate.  it's rejoicing in His supply and worshiping in the lack.  it's marvelling at Jesus being the Lion, and quiet awe at Jesus being the Lamb.  it's singing, and sighing...  knowing i'm loved.  fully and completely.  content.

thanks for letting me share,
so, what do you do with your hands?

just a thought

so it's sunday night, late, and just thought i'd share a thought before bed.  i'm so grateful for the day just gone by.  it's ending as it started, filled with worship and the overwhem of a God who's both wholly other and abba father.  how can i grasp those two thoughts at one time - the mystery and greatness of the eternal holy One who spoke everything into being with a word, and the wonder of that One wanting to have a relationship with me?  i don't get it.  and i'm glad i don't have to get it.  i simply get to have it.  thank you Lord that You are Love, that Your love overflows, and that being caught in that overflow is really only a thought away...

manna and gathering

when i first realized that faith was indeed a journey, there would be "high" days and "low" days, "full" days and "empty" days.  and i began to notice that the high days were full days and the low days were empty days.  the high days were filled with God moments and mostly were either at conferences/concerts or tough days when i came to God because i needed Him.  mostly, my ordinary busy everydays were low and empty.  i found myself wanting to have high days everyday, but most opinions were that "highs aren't real and don't really last".  i prayed about that and felt that God said something quite different.  we were meant to live high and full.  and that's when i found myself "caught in the overflow".  like manna, His grace is more than enough for everyday; it's there and available, i simply need to go out and gather.  it's become a habit, an awesome habit that compels me to approach His throne.  so much of worship music lyrics today speak of drawing near to God:

"press in to the heart of the Father
hold fast to the grace received
breathe in the life of the Spirit
and with all faith believe
believe on this the Word of Life
our Lord the Christ has come to save us
receive by faith…"

God's presence becomes real when we believe and receive.  receiving introduces an awareness that changes everything. 

"all of You is more than enough for all of me
for every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love
and all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supply, my breath of life
You are my reward, worth living for
You're my sacrifice of greatest price
You're my coming King, You are everything
still more awesome than I know…"

more than enough.  for today.  for every moment.  awesome...

thanks for letting me share,
and gather with me, if you will.  :)

obsession magnificent

i remember well the days when my faith was there, but barely.  i'd think of God, and then realize that several days had passed since my last thought of Him.  all that has changed these last 10+ years, since i got "caught in the overflow."  and i'm thankful.  so thankful for Him answering the cry of my heart - to know Him and to love Him.  the 24/7 thing.  feeling that cry in my heart like an ache, and then the love like an overwhelm.  a magnificent obsession.  steven curtis chapman describes it well:

"so capture my heart again, take me to depths i’ve never been
into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
return me to the cross and let me be completely lost
in the wonder of the love that You’ve shown me

You are everything i want, You are everything i need

Lord, You're all my heart desires, You are everything to me

You are everything I want, You are everything i need
i want You to be my one consuming passion
everything my heart desires, Lord, i want it all to be for You."

can we be too fanatical about God?  i think so, but that's what He wants!  abraham was willing to put his son on an altar.  david was a man after God's own heart, dancing around in his ephod.  mary knelt at Jesus' feet and washed them with her tears and her hair.  were they obsessed?  oh yes, magnificently.

thanks for letting me share,

and obsess with me, if you will.  :)

love poured out and all...

you'll be able to tell by my writing that songs, music and lyrics speak volumes to me.  our daughter went to hillsong college and their music has been an inspiration to our family.  two of their songs are below.  yesterday, i talked about Jesus' love being "poured out" "upon that cross":  

this is our God

Your grace is enough, more than i need, at Your word i will believe

i wait for You, draw near again, let Your Spirit make me new

i will fall at Your feet, i will fall at Your feet, and i will worship You here

Your presence in me, Jesus light the way, by the power of Your Word

i am restored, i am redeemed, by Your Spirit I am free

freely You gave it all for us, surrendered Your life upon that cross

great is the love poured out for all, this is our God!

lifted on high from death to life, forever our God is glorified

servant and king, rescued the world, this is our God!

i will fall at Your feet, i will fall at Your feet, and i will worship You here...

God's overflow is described in these wonder words:  

more than enough, new, presence, light,
power, restored, redeemed, free, rescued.

and especially this very little word:  all.

a wee word with grand meaning:  whole, complete, total, entire, everything.

i can't begin to define what God's all is.
i don't think i really know what my all is either.
but our all somehow encounters God's all in a divine circle.
from Him to us.  from us to Him.  love poured out.

with everything

open our eyes to see the things that make Your heart cry
to be the church that You would desire, Your light to be seen
break down our pride and all the walls we've built up inside
our earthly crowns and all our desires we lay at Your feet
let hope rise and darkness tremble in Your holy light

that every eye will see Jesus our God, great and mighty to be praised,

God of all days, glorious in all of Your ways
o the majesty the wonder and grace, in the light of Your name
our hearts they cry, be glorified, be lifted high above all names
for You our King, with everything, we will shout forth Your praise.

that's all!

thanks for letting me share,
and shout with me, if you will  :)

a teardrop

one of the most recognized symbols of the Christian faith is the cross.  the fullest expression of the Father's love is the same.  when someone is personally caught in the middle of that tension, everything changes.  i have a tear-off calendar filled with wisdom quotes to consider, and this one from last week by harold lokes is profound:

"an act of love that fails is just as much a part
of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds,

for love is measured by fullness, not by reception."

the fullness of God's love is something to contemplate.  i marvel at the fact that Jesus hung on the cross between two thieves, between the only two choices the cross presents to us.  but our reception certainly doesn't determine success or failure on Jesus' part.  this act of divine love was lifted up for all to see, between earth and heaven.  when I saw the teardrop fall from heaven in the scene of the movie, the passion of the Christ, i was transfixed, breathless, and still.  i'm so thankful to be "caught in the overflow" of heaven's grace.

"my chains are gone, i've been set free.
my God my Saviour has ransomed me.

and like a flood, His mercy rains, unending love, amazing grace."

thanks for letting me share,

and contemplate with me, if you will  :)

i live, i breathe

i've often thought about blogging, and with a little encouragement from my daughter, who just started herself, i'm doing it!  i'm choosing to write today, on DAY 1, quoting a song by jon owens, because it says what i'd like to start with, so beautifully:

i didn't deserve Your grace, didn't deserve Your mercy
but still You took my place because You love me
and for You it wasn't enough to save my soul
to set me free and to make me whole
You had a plan for me, a destiny for my life

so i live to give You glory and i breathe to give You praise

You paid the ransom for me, and You took away my shame

You said that You delight in me and i know Your word is true

i live, i breathe, i love to worship You.

now i receive Your grace, i receive Your mercy
cause I wanna be like You and follow Your heart

and for me, it wasn't enough to take Your name
accept Your gift and remain the same

I want to honour You and bless You all of my days....

i live, i breathe, i love to worship You

thanks for letting me share, 

and celebrate with me, if you will  :)